We are broadcasting this simultaneously to all of you, which isn‘t normally what we do, but I needed to send this message in the same format to everyone, so please accept my apologies.
As you may be aware, England is struggling existentially for the last few years and we are counting losses of around 100,000,000 pounds each year due to intolerance, slackery and laziness.
The circumstances have resulted into a very difficult but necessary decision: We must remake entire England in the image of London.
Let us consider the facts. London today is 60% non-English and is doing better than in any other year in its 1,000 years of history. The rest of England, however, has fallen behind precisely because it is full of English.
My London government has consulted with the Prime Minister‘s Office and Westminster Parliament and we came to the decision that the solution for going forward with entire England is through third country re-population, immediately, whilst nobody knows who’s who and what and why anymore in 2022.
It is alright that you may feel distress right now. I have been there, believe me. But I am assuring you it is for the best of our country, England, which we must always put first.
This means we are revoking your outdated first-came-first benefits and terminating your native vantages, with immediate effect, on the grounds of your redundancy.
I am in agreement with the Prime Minister that hundreds of millions of third country skilled workers are waiting overseas and are willing to work for jack diddly-squat or a fraction of that, and who have no problem making England a powerhouse again through Diversity, Innovation and Productivity.
The whole world is cheering our resolve. The whole world wants to come here. We are the best in what we do, and the best they ever gonna get, and they know: “England is for all of us!”
Previous policies ‘Hire the Hungry People’ and ‘Black is Bigger’ have scientifically proven, beyond all doubt, that third country populations are more valuable than gold.
Not only do we help those poor people escape genocidal war and hellish climate change, but we also invigorate our backward island with very fertile, competitive and sustainable new people.
We could never have achieved that if I was a white Englishman, obviously.
As a top player in the global market economy we must welcome half of Pakistan, three-quarters of Bangladesh, a tenth of India and 3 million Cantonese from Hong Kong who cost us nothing in formation and education, because they were well-trained abroad and will stupefy us with new ideas.
We will no longer tolerate English barbarism or cries from Yaxley-Lennon types who in the past demanded more and more pay for work that hundreds of millions of Arabs, Persians, Turks, Poles and Africans obviously can do better and cheaper.
Therefore, you English muggles, your final day of work privilege and native entitlement is today.
We have thought long and hard and are now offering you a handsome redundancy package which is well beyond what the natives in Sweden or Germany get.
Details you will find in the proceedings, including part and parcel for assisted relocation to the woods or highlands, and food coupons for a year, subject to you signing a replacement agreement […] and compliance in full with our terms of conditions.
We do accept that there are no words to convey the situation any better today. I realize this will come as a shock to you. Please appreciate that because there are 30 million natives like you left, we can‘t respond to all your grievance calls for obvious reasons.
Thank you for your understanding today. Thank you for your service to England, even though you were overpaid and often ungrateful.
We are expecting your full cooperation and support for the new populations to arrive and help them to settle down quickly in your old positions and begin this new Global England.
This is the Mayor‘s Office. I am صادق خان Sadiq Khan, Mayor of London.
On behalf of England and God I bless your Queen!
Have a nice day.
My granddad's second wife from Germany took a tour bus to London, first time in her life. She was shocked. In her naivety she thought London was Mary Poppins' white and England was full of Peters and Wendys, haha. After that, we urged her to use the internet to get better informed about the world, but she refuses. She prays for the English, though.
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” J Krishnamurti